Assassins Creed, Day of PRANKS
by Arianwen44
Summary: Just something random I decided to write... randomly pranking Altair,Malik and Ezio in the weirdest... randomest ways POSSIBLE... Rated T for language... Each character has their own PRANK chapter LOL!
1. Pranking ALTAIR

**Random COLLAB OF RANDOMNESS….**

**Well technically this is just a little short one-shot of me annoying the hell out of Altair… and probably my friend Astrid…..HAHAHAHA! I think I'm going to start running for my life…. ARF! D8**

**I don't own ASSASSINS CREED, just Becca... HEHEHE! **

**Enjoy the CRACK that is this story...**

* * *

It was sunny that morning, as it usually was in Damascus. The market was noisy, but not as noisy as it would be in a few hours when the rest of the city woke up. The sandy ground was dry and the stone buildings made great shade from the already balmy sun.

Out of the semi-peace came a shriek of laughter followed by a yell of anger. "BECCA I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!"

"HEHEHEH! GOOD LUCK ALTY!" she screamed, sprinting at full speed through the streets, a cloud of dust following in her wake.

Five minutes earlier Becca had jumped out of a haybale and whacked Altair with a very large broom. She had _actually _been waiting for a templar guard to come by so she could knock him out, but she hadn't looked and had hit Altair instead. Then she had proceeded in whacking him several _more_ times, claiming it as fun. Thus making it a free for all when it came to pounding her face in… the only problem was… he had to _catch_ her first.

As he rounded a corner, he was splashed and drenched with a wave of cold water. Becca had apparently climbed a building and hidden on top to dump it on him, he could hear her laughing wildly. He climbed the building and saw her rolling around on the sandy-roof. He grabbed the back of her shirt and held her up, glaring furiously at her. Becca stopped laughing for a moment.

But it was only about 1.5 seconds…

"OOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!" she screamed, she shook her head crazily from side-to-side and let her tongue loll about like some freakishly disturbing cartoon. Altair dropped her instantly and she shot off.

"DAMN…" he sprinted after her.

Becca flew over rooftops easily, but didn't see the 30 feet gap between the building she was on and the next one. She leapt and saw too late that she would miss. She saw a person below her, in her path and shouted, "INCOMING!" just as the person turned around and she slammed into them.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" came a muffled curse from underneath Becca. She sat up and looked around.

"Astrid? Where are you?" she obviously hadn't noticed that she was sitting on the other assassin.

"GET THE FUCK OFF ME!" she screamed.

"OH!" Becca got up and looked at Astrid, who had now become an Astrid-pancake. "Hi!" she said cheerily.

"What is your problem? Flying through the air and landing on people? _NOT_ a good idea," she glared at the werewolf. "ESPECIALLY when you're landing on_ ME…_"

Becca giggled, "Saaaaawy…"

"You had coffee this morning… didn't you?" asked Astrid, giving her a venomous look.

The werewolf nodded enthusiastically, "Espresso!" the other assassin looked at her with horror strewn about her face. "THREE MUGS…" Astrid felt like screaming at God to take her now. All the mugs in Becca's possession weren't small, they were the _HUGE_ soup mugs.

Becca heard approaching footsteps and froze for a second. "Whoops! I forgot! Gotta run!" and she sped off down an alley.

Astrid got up and dusted herself off, "What the Hell was that all about?" she asked herself out loud. Not two seconds later, Altair came running down the alley at full pelt. Astrid had to leap out of the way to avoid him, he muttered a quick hello as he sped by.

"What the Hell was _THAT_ about?" she repeated as she went back home.

Altair hadn't managed to catch Becca, who had pulled several other pranks on him during the day. Dumping another bucket of water on his head (apparently she wanted to test if he was 'water soluble'), pulling a string and causing him to trip, leaving a banana peel in his path (which _actually_ worked…), etc.

This was getting ridiculous, who had left coffee out?

* * *

The morning after was even more of a disaster…

"That's _IT!"_ Altair came storming out of the bureau, his robes tie-dyed with reflective sequins all over it. "BECCA? WHERE ARE YOU!" He made his way to a nearby plaza, where a fountain gurgled happily to itself, sparkling in the morning sun.

Silence followed for a few moments, with a few people on the street staring at him in horror, surprise and amusement. Laughter murmured through the crowd. Suddenly a bark came out of the crowd, "If you want to kill me why would I tell you where I am? I'm not that STUPID!" He went through the crowd of people carefeully and tried to sneak up on her.

"Besides… white was so _plain_… so I made you a HIPPIE!" her voice came from a completely opposite direction. He spun around and grabbed her by her collar, his eyes murderous.

"Give me one good reason…" he said.

Becca thought for a moment, then grinned, "I know!"

He glared at her, "_What…?_"

"YOU MUST BECOME A RUBBER DUCKY!" she said and pushed him into the fountain, then proceeded to run for her life.

* * *

**HAHAHAHHA OOOGA BOOGA BOOGA! Sorry... HAHAAHHA I think I had just a LITTLE too MUCH coffee today... Well, I hope it was amusing... I WAS LAUGHING MY BUTT OFF WHILE WRITING IT! AHAHAHAHAHAA!**


	2. Pranking MALIK

**BWAHAHHAHAAA! Time to prank MALIK! Well so much for it being one chapter... ANYWAY... This is gonna just be short... AHHAHA I just couldn't help myself...**

**ENJOY! (While I run for my life...) (By the way, the first line is from Jeff Dunham! LOOK IT UP! I just HAD to...)**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of Assassins Creed, or Jeff Dunham shows... this is just for fun! 8D**

* * *

Chapter 2: Pranking Malik

"BEGONE SATAN!" screamed Becca as she jumped from the ceiling right into Malik's face. Malik looked at her in confusion, "HELLO SHAMOOOO!" She yelled, a huge grin on her face. Malik didn't notice her hands behind her back.

"_What?_" he asked, giving her his confused face, "that doesn't even make any sense…"

He shouldn't have said that…

"Hhehhehe…." Becca pulled out a large bucket from behind her and threw the water on him. "NOW IT DOES!" she shrieked with laughter and shot off through the roof again.

Clenching his fist he chased her, "BECCA!" he could hear her whoops of laughter carrying across the rooftops.

After a while he returned to the bureau and proceeded to light a new stick of incense. He was just about to bring out a bunch of books from his shelves when Altair came striding into the room.

"Safety and peace, Malik…" he said, "Have you seen Becca?" he seemed to be rather upset.

"In _fact…_ I _have…_" he glared at the assassin, "Notice I am SOAKING WET?" he snapped, holding his arms out to his side. Malik was obviously still damp even if he had been running out in the sun just a few minutes ago.

"I see…" was Altair trying to suppress a laugh? Malik scowled.

"Well _anyway…_ have _you _had any luck in stopping her?" he said as he pulled out a book. Altair shook his head, then looked at the book for a split second, then had to do a double check. The cover was pink and had something that read 'My Little Pony' on it... Becca had struck… AGAIN.

"It looks as if we share the same enemy…" Said Altair, seeing Malik's face grow red in anger, he could almost see steam coming from the rafiq's ears. Malik went through the rest of his books, and found they had all been replaced with children's books. 'My Little Pony', 'The Bernstein Bears', 'Care Bears' etc… He threw them all out of his shelves and into a pile on the floor.

Becca seemed to NEVER stop…

* * *

The following morning Malik woke early and went downstairs and lit another stick of incense. That was before he realized that the stick of incense was in fact, another match and that it wasn't properly balanced… it fell to the floor and hit another box of matches witch resulted in a miniature explosion that knocked Malik back into the pile of children's books he had left there the previous night.

Hearing a small giggle he was on his feet in seconds, but Becca wasn't anywhere in sight. Malik looked around the room and the suddenly spotted her disappearing out the door. He made to chase after her but only succeeded in slipping on a… banana peel? He went skidding into the fountain with a loud yell and a splash. Becca sat rolling on the floor laughing.

Malik got up and grabbed her by the back of her shirt and glared at her. Becca giggled then pulled out a squirt gun and squirted it in his face. He dropped her instantly and gave a groan of frustration when Becca ran up and out of the bureau.

"Gaaah! Will this _ever_ end?" shouted Malik. Then he looked at his robes… even though they were black he hadn't noticed the silver pen-strokes. Becca had drawn on them with a silver… what was it? Sharpie? And she had drawn little pudgy horses with horns and little kittens and bears that looked to cute to be intimidating…

"BECCAAAAAAAAAA!"

* * *

**OH HOH HOH HOH... This is just TOO MUCH FUN! Wait until I start pranking Ezio... OR EVEN... DUN DUN DUN DUUUUNNNN... AL MUALIM... AHHAHA **


	3. Pranking EZIO

**HELLO ALL! **

**Yeah sorry it's been a while since I updated... Been studying and all with summer school... BUT IT IS OVER NOW! So I should have more time to work on my stories! 8D**

**Well... I've never actually PLAYED AC2... just watched a bit, so... if I get things wrong... I'M SORRY! THIS STORY IS JUST FOR _FUN!_ xD Anyway... YEAH... I can't speak Italian... so if I've gotten some phrases wrong I'm sorry AGAIN! I used a translator LOL!**

**ALRIGHT! On with the CHAPTER! This time... PRANKING EZIO... ENJOY!**

* * *

Chapter 3: Pranking EZIO

Becca was walking along the cobbled streets of Venice, she was humming happily to herself with her hands behind her head. "Dum dum dee dee…" people stared at her, due to the fact she had very strange clothes on (t-shirt and jeans).

As she walked past a rather large cart filled to the brim with what she thought were some kind of flower, she noticed it move ever so slightly. Getting an idea, she smiled evilly, then screamed,

"HOLY FUCKING CRAP! THERE'S SOME GUY IN THE FLOWERS!" two seconds later a hoard of guards came running to see what the commotion was all about.

"Crap!" came a voice from the flowers as Ezio burst out of them and pelted down the street, ten guards following him. Becca ran in pursuit, pulling out her bag of 'WONDERS'. She gave a little giggle and took out a whistle and a bunch of balloons.

When the guards finally cornered Ezio, Becca climbed a building right above them and inhaled. Then she blew into the whistle, the screeching noise startled anyone within earshot. Then she brought out a bag of water balloons.

"Idioti maledetti! Getterò gli aerostati di acqua voi!" (damn idiots! I shall throw water balloons at you!) She screamed, then proceeded in pelting them with the water balloons. They yelled and looked about trying to see who was throwing them, but Becca just kept on pelting them (plus she was jumping from roof-to-roof throwing them at them.

"ARRESTILO!"(STOP!) they yelled as they went running down the street, screaming for mercy.

"Wow… you guys would SUCK at 'Uncle'!" she laughed.

Three seconds later a very soaked and _very_ ticked off Ezio came over the rooftop.

"What… was _that_ for?" he asked her angrily, pointing to the mess of brightly colored balloons on the now wet ground.

Becca giggled, "I have no idea... DO YOU SPREKANZIE ITALIANO! DO YOU COMPRENDEZ? WOLFIE NO TINK SO...!" And she ran off through the city. Ezio sighed, this was weird…

* * *

Ezio was walking down the street when he noticed a small money chest in an out-of-sight corner. He grinned to himself and walked over inconspicuously, making sure that no one was around, he bent to open it.

When a small explosion sounded from inside the box and he was splattered with bright pink dye.

"BECCAAAAA!" he hollered, looking around. There was no reply. Grumbling something in Italian Ezio walked into an alleyway and climbed onto a building, on top there was yet another chest. She most likely hadn't gotten to this one so he chuckled and went to open it.

And he got splashed with purple dye.

"GRRRRRAAAH!" he yelled, calling attention to himself in a way that made the guards chase him for several minutes.

Ezio ducked into a roof garden and waited for several minutes before the guards left. Exiting through the opposite side in which he came, he came out and saw yet another chest, two in fact. They both faced each other on top of the roof, two chests. Ezio looked in between both of them carefully, could she have engineered even this? He doubted it, so he went over to one of them and opened it from behind, a squirt of water blasted the other chest. Ezio laughed in triumph.

But his victory only lasted about 1.5 seconds…

There was a short 'CLICK!' from the other chest and Ezio looked up just in time to be blasted with red dye.

"AAAH!" he fell backwards off the roof, and luckily it was a small leap of faith point and he tumbled towards a cart of hay. He landed in it, but only to land on something extremely hard with a loud '_DONG!_'.

"AIIIEEEE!" he shrieked, stunned for a second before crawling shakily from the haybale.

"PROTEZIONI! GUARDS! THERE'S A MAN COVERED IN BLOOD! HELP! HELP!" shrieked a young woman.

Almost instantly the guards came waving their swords, Ezio looked around in confusion, then glanced at his clothes. They were covered in bright pink and purple, but the red dye was fresh and dark and looked _exactly_ like fresh blood. "Merda…" he cursed as he started to fight off the guards.

After he had dispatched them all, Ezio noticed one of them fleeing. He smirked and readied his hidden gun. A few seconds later he pulled the trigger and;

A little flag that said BANG! In brightly colored letters shot out of his hidden gun and dangled in his face.

"BECAAAA! YOU ARE DEAD!" He shouted, hearing her laughing like a maniac from somewhere unknown.

* * *

**ALRIGHT... Short but I hope it's AMUSING! It was certainly amusing to me LOL! (sorry... I'm not an Ezio fan so YAH... I enjoyed writing this VERY much...) OH and thanks to my friend! Who helped me with this chapter since I haven't seen/played much of AC2! ^_^**


	4. Pranking AL MUALIM

**HEEEY! I AM ALIVE! Took me long enough I know... but YEAH!**

**So... here is chapter FOUR! MAUAHAHHAHA! In THIS episode... Becca joins forces with my friend ASTRID (She is almighty and the BEST assassin I know!) SO YEAH we go up against AL MUALIM... DUN DUN DUUUUUN... So keep your seatbelts on because it's going to be a bumpy ride!**

**DISCLAIMER: I Do NOT own AC! THIS IS ONLY FOR FUN AND STUPID PRANKING CRACK!**

**Enjooooooy! *evil smirk* XD**

* * *

Chapter 4: Pranking AL MUALIM

There was a brilliant sunset setting over Masyaf as Becca walked about carrying a small bag of stuff. She giggled happily to herself as she brought out a small apple and bit into it, munching and humming to herself.

Suddenly she heard something behind her and she spun around, no one was there. Becca smiled and continued on, turning the corner and disappearing behind a rather tall house. A dark shadow followed suit, and immediately rounded the corner after her, only to be glomped around the shoulders.

"HI ASTRID!" She squealed. The assassin doubled back for a second before trying to wrench her off. The werewolf had strong grip, not letting go no matter how hard Astrid tried to pull her away.

"GOD BECCA… GET _OFF!_" Astrid yelled. Becca just laughed and jumped off her.

She tilted her head to the side, "Hey _Astrid…_" she said rather creepily. Astrid looked up at her and glared through her hood.

"_What?"_ she asked gruffly.

Becca's smile widened crazily, "Are you… _Bored…"_ her pointed teeth glinting wickedly. Astrid straightened herself up and sighed.

"Why do you ask?" inquiring warily, Astrid didn't know what Becca was up to, but she had an idea that it wasn't good…

* * *

Later that night Al Mualim was walking down the stairs from his study when he realized that out of sheer carelessness, he had forgotten the Apple of Eden on his desk upstairs. Nearly tripping over his long black robes as he scrambled back up the stone steps to retrieve the sacred item.

When he reached the top he was met with silence, he sighed with relief when he saw the apple sitting in its place on the desk. He went to pick it up when he heard a tiny ticking noise coming from the little object. Staring at it curiously, Al Mualim picked it up and examined it.

He nearly realized to late what it was, but the tiny grenade exploded just as it left his hand, knocking him backwards and into a bookshelf. "WHAT THE HECK?" he hollered in anger as he got back to his feet. There was a tiny scorch mark on the floor where the explosive had gone off. _WHERE WAS THE APPLE OF EDEN!_

Then he heard a small giggling from the corner, two figures were hunched over laughing quietly to themselves. He squinted and saw Becca and Astrid hunched over with their hands about their middles, laughing hysterically. He narrowed his eyes and got up.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" he asked angrily.

Becca just hooted, "AHAHAHAH! FUNNY BEARD MAN LOST HIS TOOOY!"

"WONT EVER FIND IT AGAIN!" roared Astrid.

"What have you done with the Apple! You insane children," he stomped over furiously. The two were gone in seconds, out the window and up the roof.

He heard Becca squeal with more giggles, "NOTHING ALLY! YOU'LL SEE!"

"CURSE YOU DEMONS!"

* * *

The next morning dawned bright and early, and rather frantic for Al Mualim, he was busy searching through his entire study for the Apple of Eden. Pulling out books and other valuable things that could obscure the object.

"WHERE _IS_ IT?" he yelled to himself.

Just when he pulled out another book, he found it! A little round, golden object rolled out of the bookshelf and landed safely in his hands. "I FOUND IT!" he shouted as he held it in front of him as a father would a loving son.

1.5 seconds later, Astrid walked by and snatched it from his hand and took a huge chomp out of its side. The look on Al Mualim's face resembled that of a child who just lost his favourite ball. Which it technically was.

"What sorcery is this! HOW DID YOU BITE IT!" he waved his arms frantically, his voice reaching a higher octave than it really should have been able to.

Becca came in and said happily, "OOOOOH Astrid! Can I have a bite?" Astrid tossed the ball to her and she bit into it just as easily as her friend had. "Mmmn! Yummy!" she giggled.

"HOW? WHAT? DEMONS?" he stammered.

Astrid just turned her head to him casually, "Dude… it's just an apple… get over it," she threw it at him and he caught it easily.

It was just a little apple painted gold. "DAMN YOU!" he screamed, but they were already gone. "THAT IS _IT! THIS IS WAR!"_

* * *

Morning came quite swiftly after the previous night, Al Mualim had not slept well and he had huge, dark circles under his eyes. He had dreamt that Becca and Astrid had secretly burned all of his clothes and forced him to wear women's clothing… As he entered his private bathing chambers, he splashed his face with water and looked into the reflective glass of the mirror. And nearly screamed in fright.

His beard was _GONE_. All that was left was a simple, jagged stubble line. If that wasn't it, there was a star drawn trickily over his blind eye and a curled mustache underneath his nose in black ink. "WHAT? WHAAAAAT?" he shouted angrily.

Several hours later he received word that he had gotten mail. One of the messengers came into his study carrying a small box with his name scribbled across it in thick, messy black ink.

_**To Ally…**_

_**We found this for you! Wonder how you lost it in the first place…? Oh and you might want a nice frame for it!**_

_**From: Becca and Astrid**_

_**p.s. Nice mustache! It suits you…**_

Al Mualim opened the box and almost… _almost_ killed the messenger next to him. Inside was his BEARD… with a tiny miniature village carved into it.

"WHY! WHAT DEVILRY AM I UP AGAINST!" he screamed. "YOU TWO ARE DEMONS! DEMONS I SAY! DEEEEEMOOOONS!"

* * *

**HAHAHAH! Hope you liked it! R&R nicely PLEASE... if you have any suggestions as to who Becca and Astrid should prank next don't hesitate to say so! (IDEAS for PRANKS are ALWAYS welcome! ^_^)**

**Well... TOODLES AND REMEMBER...**

**KEEP THE REVIEWS COMING! xD (And don't forget to sneeze away from your parents LAWL)**


	5. Pranking LEONARDO

**Why ello ello ello!**

**Here's is the much anticipated... CHAPTER FIVE! Pranking Leonardo da Vinci! HAHAHAAAAA!**

**Hope you guys like it... (I haven't really played AC 2 so don't kill me if I get character reactions wrong!)**

**I OWN NOTHING!**

**Enjoy... EHHEHE I DID**

* * *

Chapter 5: Pranking LEONARDO

Night had fallen over Rome and the moon was riding high in the sky, stars winking from the blackness. Becca was sitting on a rooftop peeling an apple, the knife sliding through the skin of the fruit as she cut.

Suddenly something dropped next to her with a short grunt and she looked up. Astrid had just jumped down next to her and was readjusting her hood as she stood up. "Hey!" she said briskly.

"Hey Azzy! How's the city?" asked Becca.

Astrid came to sit next to her, Becca offered her a slice of the apple and she took it gratefully. "It's fine, I can't find Ezio anywhere so I think you should be safe," she said.

"Heh… I'm not scared of that guy… I think I'll throw more dye at him… what about bright blue?" the werewolf giggled insanely. The other girl seemed to think about this for a minute and said nothing. Becca all of a sudden leapt to her feet, "I know who we could prank next!" she yelped.

Her friend looked up, "Who?" she asked, nibbling the apple piece.

"LEONARDO! I've always wondered what he would do…" she smirked.

Astrid's face turned stone-like, "Prank? I _dare_ not slash will _NOT_ prank one of the greatest artists of all time! He is a legend, a _genius_ that comes only once in a millennia! No… I will not _prank_ him," she shouted, the werewolf meant to interrupt but Astrid continued, "I will _kidnap_ him! Then you know… steal his hat,"

There was silence for a split second and Becca burst out laughing, "ALRIGHT! Off we go?"

The other girl grinned devilishly, "Off we go!"

* * *

Leonardo da Vinci was walking home from an errand when he heard quiet rustlings along the rooftops. Paying it no mind he shrugged and entered his studio with an armful of paints, rulers and brushes he had acquired.

He was met with the most _horrifying…_most _terrible_ scene he had ever seen in his entire life. All of his paintings… all of his beautiful CHILDREN… they all had giant furry mustaches painted over their faces, on animals and on people. With a loud scream he dropped his paints and other things onto the floor, the door shut behind him.

From a dark corner came a giggle, and he glanced over only to duck as something whistled by his head and exploded in an array of sparks and colour. Silence followed, and Leo glanced up shakily.

A few split seconds later the entire studio exploded into sparks, crackling and loud pops that hurt his ears. Leonardo huddled on the floor screaming with his hands over his ears for a moment. He looked up through the chaos and saw two figures standing in the corner laughing hysterically.

"_YOU TWO!" _he yelled and tried to get up, but just then a rather large firework whizzed by his ear and he shrieked, dodging firework after firework. "What the- AH! How in the- DAAAH!" he jumped and bounced around the room trying to avoid the crackling fireworks.

Becca and Astrid retreated out a nearby window and climbed onto the roof, sides splitting. "Now _that_ was fun!" said Becca.

A second passed and Leo came running onto the street and looked up at the place where they had just been. His clothes were singed, his hair a mess and everything covered with ash and debris, smoke rose from his clothing. "WHY!" he cried, just as another firework zoomed straight between his legs in a sparkling line. He yelped and jumped up. Astrid and Becca howled with laughter over the rooftops.

* * *

Two days later Leonardo had _finally _cleaned up his workshop, the fireworks had not destroyed his paintings thank goodness. Yet they had made a wreck of everything else, lamps were smashed, tables scorched and many of his tools lay scattered about the studio.

During his cleaning, Leo had noticed that his flying machine was missing... "Odd… maybe Ezio needed it for something…? No he would have left a note… maybe he forgot?"

Far away on a lonely cliff, Becca and Astrid were getting ready to take off… with Leo's flying machine. "OKAY! Ready?" yelled Becca as another gust came up, whipping her hair.

"YUPP! LETS GO!" Said Astrid, who was hanging onto the driver's spot. With a loud holler she leapt from the hill and soared upwards, once her turn was over it was Becca's. The werewolf had absolutely _no_ idea how to pilot the craft, but it looked easy enough.

Once night had come Leonardo had given up on finding his flying machine when he heard a loud clatter from the other room. He got up from his chair and went to investigate only to see his flying machine in several pieces, all broken and magled. A single paper note was stuck to the wood on one of the pieces.

Through his horror Leo managed to read the note.

_Dear Leo,_

_Sorry about the mess! Hope it wasn't to much to clean! _

_We wanted to try out your flying machine to make sure it worked but we didn't see the trees and kind of broke it…_

_SORRY! 8D_

_Sincerely, _

_Becca and Astrid_

Leo fell to his knees and began to wail, his red hat also been swiped from him as well as his machine destroyed. Both Astrid and Becca had disappeared, probably off to prank another unfortunate soul.

* * *

**HEHEHEHE! Hope it was good!**

**Now... who should I prank next? Any suggestions? (please R&R and make me a happy little fangirl! xD)**

**Love you all! Astrid and I shall prank more... IN CHAPTER SIX!**


	6. Pranking VIDIC

**0.0**

**...**

**I AM SO SORRY GUYS... for such a fcking late update... I've been so wrapped up in other stories, my novel, life itself... and other crap (such as a dog) and I JUST managed to finish this! Plus I had NO idea what to do... for this... it took THIS long for me to get back into my pranking mood and I apologize thouroughly for it! **

**To let my readers know, (if you haven't given up on me D8) I absolutely WILL be continuing this until I've pranked nearly all the favourite Assassins Creed Characters. I PROMISE! (eventually LOL)**

**So please don't give up on me! Love you all! AND THANK YOU SO MUCH!**

**Disclaimer: THIS IS A POINTLESS DRABBLE OF AWESOMENESS... I DO NOT OWN AC OR THE WHOLE FRANCHISE / GAME / WHATEVER-IT-IS!**

* * *

Pranking VIDIC

Becca sat in the ventilation shaft of Abstergo, the cramped space starting to play tricks on her. She breathed a short sigh of relief and inched forward a few more spaces until she came to a small vent that looked down on a bright white room. The light played across her face in small bars of light and shadow, revealing her small grin to only her companion squeezed in behind her.

"Becca, tell me again why we decided to use the _vents_ and not sneak in like true assassins?" Astrid asked, shifting herself in the tight vent shaft.

The other girl's grin widened, "Because the vents are COOLER, and I feel like a spy!" She started to quietly hum the James Bond theme as she and Astrid unscrewed the hinges to the grate. Carefully looking around so as to make sure the coast was clear, they dropped a small rope down and slid into the room.

It was a vast room, filled with blinding white windows and nothing but a desk and chair at the far end, and the animus near the center. Becca smiled again and passed her 'bag of wonders' to Astrid, "You install it on the animus, I'll set up the system…"

* * *

Dr. Warren Vidic walked into the room about an hour later, it was quiet, white and peaceful. He smiled contentedly, stepping over the threshold of the room…

And an earsplitting sound, something similar to the Darth Vader/Galactic Empire theme song, came blasting throughout the room causing Vidic to jump with surprise and let out a loud cry. He leapt backwards out of the door, and the music instantly stopped. He waited a moment, waiting for his heart to stop racing. Once it did he sighed and stepped in again…

DUN DUN DUN DUNDUNNUN DUNDUNNUN!

He screamed and ran through the room, his eardrums splitting and his eyes wide, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" He shrieked, the sound barely audible amidst the blaring, harsh music.

Then suddenly the sounds stopped as the music was silenced. Vidic collapsed on the floor panting heavily, his ears ringing and his mouth still open in a silent yell. He rose shakily to his feet, only to hit his head on something small and hard. Yelping he looked up, rubbing his temple tenderly and glancing around murderously for the thing that had hit him.

To his shock, surprise, wonder and amazement (and probably more) Vidic spotted none other than the Apple of Eden, floating not just a few meters from him. Its golden exterior glistening in the bright light from outside, the warm glow it gave off, there was no doubt in his mind that it was the real apple.

Vidic reached hungrily for the device, coming within ten paces of it, only to have it float away cheekily. He ground his teeth in frustration and reached again, almost tripping down the small flight of stairs that led to the animus. The apple continued to float out of his reach, this went on for the next ten-twenty minutes, Vidic following the apple with angry grunts and growls as it sped around the room.

"What is this! I want that apple!" He whined, making one last leap at it and landing heavily on the floor, the apple bouncing away.

DUN DUN DUN DUNDUNNUN DUNDUNNUN! The music blasted him from unseen speakers, making him writhe on the floor.

"AAACK! WHY?" then he heard something, as the music stopped. A small pair of echoing giggles coming from above, almost as if there were ghosts in the ceiling. "I HEAR YOU! LITTLE DEMONS! COME OUT AND GET WHAT'S COMING TO YOU!" silence, and then—

"Vidic? What's going on?" came a female voice, Lucy had appeared in the room with Desmond Miles, their latest test subject. "Why are you on the floor and why are you yelling?" she asked, fright crossing her face.

Vidic looked about crazily, "Nothing! Nothing at all! I just tripped…" he said angrily, looking about one more time to see the apple had vanished. Cursing inwardly he snarled at the two before him, "Well come on! Come on I don't have until next century! Get into the animus Mr. Miles," he said, holding a hand to his forehead.

Desmond sat down on the animus, muttering a short snort of amusement to Lucy, something sounding like, 'was he watching Star Wars at full volume or something? I could have sworn I heard the theme song…'

Spinning about Vidic snapped, "Get to work! I'm not paying you to sit around and chit-chat!" he whirled back to face the window, his anger nearly boiling over.

There was then blessed silence, Desmond logged into the animus, Lucy stood near him monitoring his brain waves and recording his memories as he went through them. Vidic shook his head, he could have sworn he heard more giggling from the ventilation, making a mental note to have them cleaned later.

Then suddenly, "Hey cool! Vidic! What did you do to the animus?" Desmond's voice came through the quiet like a knife, making him flinch.

"What do you mean? I did nothing!"

Desmond laughed, "I'm in a white room…. There's a gun here… interesting!" he smirked and then was silent again. Vidic didn't think anything of it, he only concentrated on rolling his ID pen between his fingers crossly.

* * *

Later he sat down at his desk with Lucy, his viewer open and the memories from that day recorded on a disk and already in the disk player. As he hit the play button, Vidic was ready to see images of a middle-ages Damascus or Jerusalem or something. But instead what met his eyes was a view of Desmond, leaping through a white room carrying a Portal gun… blasting blue and orange portals around the room to get from one side to the other in an instant.

His face literally turned bright red, his fists clenched together and he snarled angrily. Beside him, Lucy backed away fearfully.

"DEMONS! WHAT IS THIS RUBBISH?" he reached into his pocket for something to throw… only to find his ID pen was gone. Stolen…

"I WILL GET YOU! DEMENTED! DEMONIC! HORRIBLE! AWFUL! DECIETFUL DEMONS! I WILL! I PROMISE YOU THAT!" howled an enraged Warren Vidic.

* * *

**AND DONE! 8D Let me know what you guys think! xD**

**Again... I have not yet been able to play through ALL the games entirely, so please excuse any mistakes ^_^'. I LOVE this and I mostly just go with the story to make it funny, not historically accurate.  
**

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER... Pranking CESARE! (If you have any requests for my pranking... as in who to prank... then please say so! 8D)**


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